If you and your partner are on the same page about how to live your ideal global life, that’s awesome!
But what do you do when you don’t agree?
From conversations I’ve had, and my own experience, this is a common dilemma. In my case, Aaron and I were on the same global page for years…until we weren’t. I share our story in my forthcoming Re-Entry Relaunch Roadmap workbook, so I won’t go into it here, but I will say that it was a challenging time…until we found a solution that works for both of us.
Is this You?
It can be difficult if you want to, say, move abroad, while your partner would rather remain near friends and family. Or if…
You’d prefer to use your hard-earned savings to travel around the world, while your partner leans towards investing that money in your 401k.
You pictured yearly international vacations in adventurous locations, while your partner keeps suggesting a quiet week at a local beach.
You’re itching to return to expat life, while your partner is happy to be home.
You’re willing to try that risky job abroad, while your partner prefers to play it safer by keeping the jobs you have.
3 Ways to Get on the Same Global Page
1. Be (really, really, really) open to new possibilities.
Once I realized that Aaron and I were no longer on the same page regarding our global life, I committed to finding a win-win situation. To do so meant that I had to let go of the singular vision I had and be completely open to new possibilities.
It wasn’t easy at first; I felt like I was letting go of a long-cherished dream and like I was selling out or giving up by considering other options. But when I opened myself up to new possibilities that I hadn’t ever considered, that’s when I thought of the win-win solution that currently works for us.
2. Understand your partner’s why.
When I realized that we were no longer on the same global page, I wanted to understand why. At that time we’d been together 10+ years and our lives had changed; we were no longer grad students just starting out in our careers. Through our conversations I began to understand the motivation behind my husband’s current goals and dreams.
I hate to admit this, but it took some effort on my part to see his not-so-global goals and dreams as equally valid as my globally-focused ones. But once I understood his why, I realized that we were on the same page about how to live our lives, we just had different approaches. I also found that the more I sought to understand his why, the more he wanted to understand mine.
We also discovered that what makes me feel safe and secure – moving around, jumping into new experiences, changing things up – makes him feel stressed out and insecure. Likewise, what makes him feel safe and secure – planting roots and deeply getting to know a community and workplace – makes me feel stressed out and insecure. We now understand why we each automatically pushed back against what the other wanted to do, and we now have much more empathy for how the other is feeling.
3. Identify your Global Life Ingredients.
Things really came together for my husband and I when we figured out our Global Life Ingredients — the 3-5 things that are most important to you, right now, no matter where in the world you are.
Head over to Facebook and join other global adventurers who are finding their Global Life Ingredients in our Re-Entry Relaunchers Unite! Facebook group!
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